Pausing for Six Months

Four Weeks Later: Post-Op Appointment

I had my diagnostic laparoscopy four weeks ago today, and on that day was finally given the diagnosis of endometriosis.

Since then, my husband and I have moved, I was laid off at work, I started Lupron, and I got a new job. Sounds so simple, doesn't it? I can't believe all of that happened in just four weeks. I have such a different life now.

I saw Dr. N today, for the post-op appointment. We discussed my recovery, the move and the job changes (she's a very thoughtful doctor!) and the Lupron. The recovery was pretty standard, and she likes how my scars look. One has a little stitch that still needs to dissolve, but other than that, no problems. I told her that the move went very well. And then we talked about the Lupron, and the new partner in my life: menopause.

For the most part, menopause hasn't been too bad. Yes, I have some mood swings. Sometimes I want to crawl out of my own skin. I have some back pain, some joint pain, and some cramps. But those last three complaints are so minor that I sometimes feel like I wouldn't even think of them if I weren't paying such avid attention to my body. The one thing I do feel a change in is my depression level.

I've lived with a little bit of depression for six years. I've been on Prozac, though, and that has always done the trick. I tried to go off of it back in Chicago a few years ago, but it just didn't go well. So various doctors have thought that there is a chemical imbalance in my brain that needs a little Prozac. I take a low dosage every day, and it keeps me from sitting on the couch all day, feeling sorry for myself. But my little bit of depression had no idea that it was about to collide with menopause. (And why would it? I'm 33!)

I made a decision not to write about my depression initially. I thought that I wouldn't need to, and didn't want to throw in any other crazy health issues with this blog. I also haven't written about the impact of the Lupron on the depression, even though I had noticed it. It's just not fun or funny or something I can be witty about. So I guess I just have to be honest about it.

I've had some incredible highs the past month: getting a diagnosis after so many months of uncertainly, getting pain relief after months of pain, and getting a job two weeks after getting laid off. Since the Lupron shot, though, each high seems to be followed by a harsh low. During those lows, I'd really like to just stay in bed, or sit on the couch, or just not talk to anyone. It doesn't happen every day, and it certainly isn't debilitating. But it is a change, and it scares me.

So I mentioned it to Dr. N today, who agreed we should increase the Prozac dosage. She also said we could add a tiny estrogen supplement to my daily regimen, but that could decrease the effectiveness of the Lupron slightly. I'm not willing to chance that yet, since I'm not lying in bed all day crying or anything. We'll give this new dose a chance and see what happens.

I told Dr. N that she's a rock star who has improved my quality of life significantly. She hugged me twice during the appointment, and wished me the best of luck. I have a few weeks now before I start the new job, and in that time I'm headed to Hawaii for a few days with my husband and adjusting to the new Prozac dosage. It's been a good four weeks and I just hope the same for the next four.

Labels: depression, laparoscopic surgery, Lupron, menopause

posted by Vander @ 7:50 PM