Pausing for Six Months

It's Not You, It's Me

Dear Dr. C.,

I'm writing to let you know that our relationship is over. I know that we have been Primary Care Physician and Patient for three years, but I think we both know the relationship has run its course.

We've spent a lot of time together during the past six months, and it has become clear to me that we are not right for each other. I need a PCP who is proactive, resourceful, and intelligent. You need someone who doesn't expect answers to medical questions. I think you would also benefit from someone who appreciates quick, thoughtless answers. (Remember when I came in to see you in December of last year with my first complaints of abdominal pain? You diagnosed stomach flu within 3 minutes. And then the next week, when I was back, and you said it was from a microscopic kidney stone, even though the urologist disagreed?) I'm sure there's someone out there for you who finds such quick judgements endearing. I've just learned that I prefer doctors who listen and then, after careful consideration, have a discussion with me.

Yes, I've been seeing someone else. She's my Ob-Gyn. Before you get upset, please know that my insurance company has completely approved of the relationship, even without a referral. And she makes me so happy! She performed laparoscopic surgery two weeks ago and I've been 99% pain free since then. We have a six-month plan together, in fact, to make sure that this happiness lasts. I'm sure you'd like to see me happy, right?

This is not an easy letter to write. I have given this break-up a lot of thought. But yesterday, when I learned that you filled a prescription for a drug we've never discussed, just because the pharmacy used the wrong generic name, I realized I had to do this. I can't run the risk that you will make a larger mistake than that in the future.

I wish nothing but the best for you in the future. Maybe you can subscribe to a trade journal, or take a new class to learn more about diagnostics. I think that would be really good for you.

I'd like to say that we could remain casual, and that I would come to see you for a sore throat or a migraine, but I think we both know that isn't a good idea. Please know that I will always appreciate that you taped pictures of your vacation destinations to the ceiling above the exam table. That was always such a nice touch.

My best to you,

Vander

Labels: breaking up with my PCP, dear john letter

posted by Vander @ 2:25 PM